My cat was reclining in front of the tree at Christmas, so I thought it would be nice to take his picture. When I approached, however, he did this whole stretch-contortion-I'm going to lay upside down on my head thing. Maybe his ear itched.

She's All Stove to Hell

So my dad was in an accident last week - an old duffer in a work truck went across the center line and rammed into him pretty much head-on. Fortunately, Dad was wearing his seatbelt and his airbag worked. Also in his favor and among the things to be filed in the 'only in Maine' category? The old guy had a v-shaped plow on the front of his truck which helped deflect the vehicle down the side of dad's van. Dad is ok, but very sore.

I went to the Bangor Mall this weekend - good times. I found nothing of interest, even at the Victoria's Secret sale. By the way...why do they find it necessary to put the table with the A size bras at the VERY FRONT of the store? It's not as if I need all of eastern Maine to know I have no boobs. I dug through the pile quickly and moved on to camisoles and slips.

I have rescued the old treadmill in my parents' basement from a life of boredom and neglect. We share some quality time at about 7:30 every night, and together, we have discovered something truly wonderful. The cable TV we get in Maine broadcasts the CBC. And the CBC broadcasts Coronation Street at 7:30 Monday through Friday. I have no idea what is going on, as the last time I watched the Street was in 1997 in Ireland (I have since converted to Eastenders), but beggars can't be choosers.

Finally, I went to mass this weekend with my mom and grandmother. I still enjoy the funky surfer priest. He actually took the time in his homily to explain the various color schemes in the church throughout the year (purple for Lent, white for Christmas and Easter, red for Pentecost, etc.). This was the first Sunday of Ordinary Time. A couple years ago, we were all in church for Christmas Eve, and the cantor was...not the most musical of people. I don't think the poor guy hit a note the entire mass. At one point, my brother leans over to me and says, "Dude, I know it's church and all, and I'm supposed to be nice, but this guy suuucks. Why didn't they get someone good for tonight and save him for like, the 34th Sunday of Ordinary Time?" Ahhh...religious humor. At least my Catholic peeps will enjoy it...

Fine Dining

I was called in to teach third grade again today...and I nearly lost it while reviewing vocabulary for a story we were about to read. I would say the word, the kids would give me different meanings, and then we'd write our definition on the board. We decided that a 'chandelier' was a light that hangs from the ceiling, is fancy and had gems or crystals on it that make it pretty or colorful. One adorable boy waved his hand around and earnestly informed me, "I've seen one of those! They have them at Applebee's!"

Vacation's Over

Today I susbstituted for third grade - They were a little bit wild the first day back from break, but I think I managed to rein them in.

For a spelling exercise, we named as many words as we could beginning with "be-". One little boy raised his hand and frantically waved it around. "Miss Grindle, I know one! BELCH!"

I suggested that we didn't write that one up on the board.

A few kids later, a rather soft-spoken girl said, "Ummmm...beer." Thinking I had heard her wrong, I said, "Oh, you mean 'bead'? That's a good one..." "NO," said she of the no longer soft voice, "I said BEER, like the stuff to drink!"

I suggested we not write that one on the board, either...